Last Names..

I do not understand why taking the husbands name is such a big deal in marriage. I mean I have asked around and some guys are content with the wife keeping her name, some are content with her hyphenating it. But despite that most are very adamant about the children having the fathers last name, even those that don't believe in marriage. So I think to myself, you don't believe in marriage but yet you want your children to have your last name. Well i'll be damned, if i'm not married to you the chances of our children having your last name have decreased dramatically. Secondly, the same person was like "she's a female they already know they will lose their name." Which is true somewhat, but I don't know how much I agree with these automatic social constructions we build around "female" and "male" or "woman" and "man," more importantly.


Like how can these people talk of tradition when they don't live their lives traditionally? I mean I would better understand if they were more honest and acknowledged that it is a preference only. I feel like as a woman giving up your last name is a big deal. I'm sure some women are honored and more power to them, but I guess the point is, not everyone is. I may be honored to be your wife but am I honored for you to strip away a part of my identity. I don't really know about all that. And, I think maybe having two last names for your children can be complicated when it comes time for paperwork, other than that it's not. I think if I am truly the "other half" in a relationship I have every right to coin a last name for my children as my husbands, despite TRADITION... But that's just how I feel... so I hope the future or current men in my life are ready to compromise, because I'm hyphenating, there is no debate about that. My children's names aren't as definite so we'll see.