"Otherness"

Beyonce represents so much in terms of beauty, praise, work ethic, body image and praise. Splitting from Destiny’s Child in the nineties to go solo allowed her to soar to great heights. She is a Black woman of Creole descent, with a slim waist, and flowing long weave. For many Black men she represents the prototype of what they would want physically in a woman. Beyonce is portrayed as perfect. She is allowed to sing about being a Single Lady, and a Survivor as well as many other songs that may be perceived as female empowerment, yet is married. In Beyonce’s image you can see the Black woman’s body image issue, the natural hair versus permed versus weaved issue, the light skin versus dark skin issue on top of the independent woman issue. For me she represents so many things that are still causing rifts, debate and esteem issues in the Black community. For so many she is perfection.

For me, the Jewish community represents the Other. They have their own everything. I remember doing a paper in a multicultural business class analyzing why Jewish people faired better economically and socially after being pushed out of their home countries and into the United States than Black people did post-slavery. I found the assignment difficult, and I was almost offended. Ever since then I have been ultra aware of the Jewish families in Brooklyn. Jewish people have faired better post-oppression. In Crown Heights they have their own police task force, their own museums, their own ambulances, and their small businesses run the gamut. For me they are the other, as I watch them on my train ride to work squeezing in to seats faithfully reading the Torah. I sit and wonder what if we (Black people) could be just as uniform? Is it something I even want to emulate or just observe?



Despite all the recent suicides due to internet bullying, sexting and such, suicide has always been something I have had difficulty grappling with. I do not necessarily put down those who chose to end their lives, nor do I parade it. My otherness with this concept starts simply with the concept of ending a life, let alone my own. On one hand I can thank my inability to grasp the concept to having a decent life, and never being pushed to that limit mentality. But, at my worst I still cannot get a hold on it. It is such a foreign concept to me. When I watch movies or read about true stories I sympathize with those who have reached the end of their rope due to bullying, stress or mental issues. In my own community, mental health is very taboo, and I hope it becomes a bigger discussion, as things have moved online and digitally people’s battles with depression have become way more apparent. I just hope we as a people can learn to have adequate conversations about them.




When I think about Beyonce, I cannot help but think she views life as a simple cause and effect motion. If I work hard, I will get what I want and where I want in life. This is what was taught to the majority of us as children. But despite that, life is simply not that simple. Everyone cannot be anything they wanted to be. It takes a certain level of skill and privilege for ALL of us to simply achieve our goals through hard work. When I look at people like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Kanye West, these people are exceptions and not the rule. Beyonce and Michael Jackson are included. Beyonce just embodies more for me personally in other ways besides her success musically. Her image means so much more, for so many.



When I think of the Jewish neighborhoods in Brooklyn, I automatically think of uniformity. I think of how the Orthodox Jews come together in Crown Heights. The ways in which they group together to provide an exclusive environment for each other. This picture to me represents how homes formerly owned by African Americans are adapted and changed as they are opened up in neighborhoods that have some Jewish occupants. It represents the transition that can be seen throughout areas of Crown Heights.


When I think of suicide, I think of despair and desolation. For me this is what life would have to represent for me to contemplate taking my own life. The idea of being lonely would have to be so intense that there would be no way out of my cycle of thinking and movement. I could only imagine that each step could go wrong when you are suicidal or depressed. Each and any step could send you over the top.

Black people loving other Black people was a revolutionary act

I'm going to speak as if i'm an old soul recollecting the days of the Black empowerment movement. Because, Hill Harper's The Conversation reminded me of something. It reminded me of a time when "Black people loving other Black people was a revolutionary act"... I'm wondering what happened to that state of mind, but I'm thinking I could make a few educated guesses.

As far as the Black familial unit, during slavery it was stripped and divided. It was women and children then there were the Black men. As if this seperation did not do enough damage to our individual and collective concepts of family, further enforcements post-slavery were made to keep this notion going. For example, at one point if Black women wanted to receive assistance for their families Black men were not allowed to be present in the household. Hence, the beginnings of the single-parent households (dare I say baby momma? ...I shiver at the thought), reduction in marriage, and skewed* reliance on government assistance.

But then the Black empowerement movement surged on. (And, of course it also had its flaws, misogyny for one, but I'd argue it is on a different level than we have today) People stayed together because they knew that everyone else didn't want to see them succeed. They stayed together for the benefit of their families, their children, each other, and lastly their community. Their ties to their communities were strong, and their support for one another spoke volumes. This can be seen throughout our history of sit-ins, parades, walks, community action, you name it. This was a time when people felt communal ties to their race and their community. They made it through a common struggle and understood the importance of sticking together.

It's not hard to understand why the communication barriers are broken in so many areas of our community. We have the children of those single mothers being raised without fathers. They have no concept of what true fatherhood is. The females are raised to rely on no one emotionally or financially. While independence is good, if you are constantly being told that "no one has your back but you" or that "never rely on a man" there is a good chance you are going to grow up thinking that a man will never be able to provide for you, or that you will never be able to instill trust in him. And young men are growing up without father figures. Father's who are only there sometimes, and sometimes never. A woman may be able to take care of the whole family, but she cannot father the whole family. So when the young women who wants to do it all herself, meets the young man whose only example of fatherhood/manhood is being inconsistent... no wonder the relationships don't make it. Their lives are shaped and formed by history. Somewhere and somehow it needs to turn around.

Black pride is a completely different concept today than it was in the late 70s and 80s. Now we as a people often take pride in our negative stereotypes than in our beauty, versatility and power as a people. In the past, the movement was formed so that we could provide each for other and move as a united front. Two-parent households were very common! Now, the amount of single parent households coupled with Black male imprisonment rates, we are in a world of trouble. The reality is the solution starts at home. Black men and women need to take a more active role in the upbringing of their children. Instill faith in themselves, their community, and their people. Passing on years of hostility, judgement and falsehoods only perpetuates the cycle.

We look at Michelle & Barack Obama in awe. We look at their love and their relationship as something unattainable. I hope they become somewhat of a role model to our Black youth, but I know no one is perfect. Now don't get me wrong I am aware of the flourishing Black middle class, but the reality is there is still a much bigger working and poor class struggling to keep it together financially and emotionally. It's time to break down those walls and talk. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Remove those inhibitions, expectations and listen.


*Despite the ongoing stereotypes of the Black welfare queen, African American's are NOT the largest group receiving welfare assistance.

Racial Profiling at its finest...

One of the nation's most renowned Black professors, Henry Louis Gates Jr., was arrested Thursday afternoon. The Harvard University professor was taken in custody after police arrived at his Cambridge home investigating a possible break-in.

This is one of the most profound examples of racial profiling which continues to be a problem nationwide. Ironically so, Harvard, the Ivy-League that restricts no students from attending due to lack of financial means, is no exception.

After having difficulty with a jammed door at his home, Gates continued to fumble with the door. During this, he showed signs of frustration as his attempts became louder. This inconvenience must have changed the atmosphere of the neighborhood, creating a source for concern. (Hence, my sarcasm) The difficult part to comprehend in this scene is that when the police arrived Gates was already in his home. Despite this, they continued to arrest him for “disorderly conduct” despite lacking corroborating evidence.

Rightly so, Gates told the arresting officer that he had “no idea who he was messing with” hinting to his executive position as director of the W.E.B. Du Bois Institute for African and African American Research at Harvard. He continued to express to the officers that they were racist and that he was being targeted because he was Black.

It is important to note how the charge changed from a possible breaking and entering to disorderly conduct. This fact alone lends largely to the popular feeling that Gates was profiled. As he and his other Black Harvard colleague questioned, “if he had been a white professor whether this kind of thing would have happened to him.” I cannot help but agree that if this was a White professor, the whole situation would have been considered a misunderstanding and the officers would have bid him a good day. But this instead took place with a Black professor, becoming a racial incident among others at Harvard University. Black Harvard students and faculty displayed heavy criticism at the finding of Gates arrest. Many of these Black students and faculty describe this as one instance of prejudice they continue to face at Harvard.

Michael Jackson... R.I.P.

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1958-2009

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Words could not express the feeling I felt last night as I walked into my home. The first thing that was said to me as I walked up the stairs was "he just died." I knew he was sick, because as I was getting ready to leave work my co-worker informed me that MJ was in cardiac arrest, but never in my greatest imagination did I think Michael Jackson would die. But he is gone.


I held my compusure until my aunt, who I proclaim to be one of the biggest Michael Jackson fans I know came up to me and asked my sister and I how we were handling it. We were sitting in silence up until this moment. Being asked to speak was like being asked to unlock the chamber of your emotions. At that point all I could say was "this is sad" as the well of tears collapsed down my face. I was never one who could contain my tears. I just often reverted to expressing them in private. As a child I had pretty overactive tear ducts which made me tear for no apparent reason. So tears come real easy for me.


I know that Michael lived a long successful, but often controversial, life. And by no means am I trying to glorify his life and forget his bad times, but my hope is that people can look past the negatives and appreciate him for the legacy he is. Yes he was a conflicted man who lacked a childhood and seemingly grew up completely in the limelight, but he is in fact only human. I think that he has paid his dues for any supposed wrongdoing he may have done. I hope everyone can embrace Michael for the King of Pop he is. I don't think some people understand the devastation. They don't understand the success. Michael Jackson was a worldwide icon. WORLD WIDE. Not an American Icon.... someone tried to compare him to Michael Jordan and I listened in disbelief. No comparison whatsoever. People of all colors, shapes and sizes were affected by Michael Jackson's music, and his life. He is an extroadinary musician, song writer, producer dancer- you name it.


I will forever remember this day, remember his life, his music and his soul. What artist do you know who had more passion for their art? When I look back and look at all the music videos and concerts I know that if I could have easily been one of those BLACK OR WHITE girls passing out at his concerts. I loved that the effects he has had on people transgressed all boundaries. He was the FIRST BLACK musician to get his video played on MTV. He bridged all gaps. Michaeal Jackson's Thriller revolutionized the rising art of the Music video. Nobody can do it like Michael did it.

So I take this time now to reminisce solemnly, with tears of joy, tears of sadness as I listen to all his tracks which each affect me differently. My heart goes out to his entire family and especially his children. I know that Janet, Liz Taylor, Quincy Jones and Diana Ross are feeling it especially too. They were some of the closest people in his life, constand defenders of a man of greatness.


So in the time being I will continue to listen to my personal favorites... I'll Be There, Never Can Say Goodbye, and Man in the Mirror. Gone but never forgotten.

Aint I A Woman?

(pic taken from www.crunktastical.net)

I find something troubling about this statue. I won't even discuss the overall aesthetic appeal of it. But, I will discuss why Sojourner Truth is displayed with no arms and why she is cut so bluntly at the chest I understand all statues are not lifesize but they could have continued the statue down to her waist. I don't know I just find this a really bad job...

Just something I read and appreciated on love...

Life is the process of finding love; every person will need to find four people in their life. The first person is you; the second person is the one you love most, the third person is the one who love you most, and the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life with. First in life, you will meet with the one whom you love most, and learn how love feels. You will learn how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you the most. When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most. Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with. Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person. The one you love most doesn't love you. The one who loves you most is never the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with is never the one you love most or the one who loves you most. He is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time. Which person are you in other people's life? No person will purposely have a change of heart. At that point in time, when he loves you, he really loves you. But when he doesn't love you anymore,he really doesn't love you anymore. When he loves you, he can't pretend that he doesn't. Same goes, when he loves you no longer, there's no way he can pretend he loves you. When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you, you must ask yourself if you still love him. If it so happens that you don't love him anymore, do not keep him just to save your pride. If you still love him, you should wish him happiness and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it. If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves, it shows you already don't love him, And if you don't love him, what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart? Love is not possessive. If you like the moon, you can't just take it down and put it in your basin. But the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him become a permanent memory in you life. If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is. Love him for his good points, and the bad. You can't wish for him to become what you like him to be just because you love him. When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him. You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you. Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criterias. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test; if the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate. When two people are in love, they love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover. These swears and promises are useless. Till the sky falls, till the ocean dries, my love for you will never change! We all know that the sky will never fall and that the ocean will never dry. And if it does happen, will we even be alive? Be careful when making promises; don't make promises that you cannot keep.Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually. Remember, swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!

The N* Word

Initially, I was very adamant about preserving the rights for Black people to use the all too mystical word nigga. After watching episodes of Oprah confronting Ludacris, Terrence Howard and Don Cheadle, and having intellectual conversations with my aunt and grandmother my viewpoint began to slowly shift. Tracing the history of the n-word leads to the true disgust and demeaning definition of the word. Many have argued that by taking the word, spinning it and making it ours we are taking the power out of it, and now have control. This is indeed a large white lie.

This is the same justification that women use for calling each other bitches. Either way it is unacceptable. Simply put, if a White man calls a Black man the n-word there are all types of problems and repercussions. In the same manner, if a man calls a woman the b-word there are also repercussions, regardless of whether or not she tries to take control of it and identify herself as one. At the end of the day no woman wants to be called a bitch and no true identifying Black man wants to be called a nigga.

I feel that Black people as a collective group are under constant pressure to perform. They are often underestimated, and undermined. People tend to count Black people out before they even show up. With so many different and mostly negative public views of what it means to be Black, many Blacks in an ironic sense feel the need to live up to that. They feel that acting in what ever particular way is what it means to be Black. This is where many regain their false sense of Black pride or street credentials. Referring to each other by the n-word further materializes this issue. The n-word constitutes a whole bunch of dirty connotations. The word is still listed in some dictionaries with an actual definition other than a racial/ethnic slur. If men and women identify with these definitions it is a clear indication of how they view themselves and each other, which is troubling for the future.

The double-edged word aspect of this debate must end. Yes, in many ways I agree that White people have less of a right and it seems more offensive when the word is coming from them. But, I feel even more adamant that the change must start from within. We as Black people cannot point too many fingers at them for using a derogatory word that we continue to keep alive. I would like our sense of Black pride to lie outside and above and beyond referring to each other as niggas. Education has sadly become a dirty word in many of our Black communities. We must instill a sense of pride in true Black culture instead of our often negative, shameful, (dare I say ghetto?) ways.